Blame it on the Arabians...

[To those of the birthday party regarding the events of September 17 at 2 a.m.]

So the six of us -- Ramona, Jeff, Susan, Andreas, Kris and me -- hustle the rest of you good folks out the door so we can get over to the Berghain. Caroline, who was rendezvousing with us at the club later, and I had already been there, so I wasn't creeped out by the back-of-the-yards industrial wasteland that surrounds the Berghain. Kris and I joked that it was like that opening scene of that movie Blade, where the party-boy at the wild dance club all of a sudden finds himself in a vampire blood bath.

Er, I digress...

Anyway, after a lengthy wait in line, I am at the front door with the gang behind me. I am waived in, my bag is searched, my body is given the gentle pat down (by a nicely tattooed babe, I might add). I am pointed over to the cashier, but I turn to wait for the others at the door.

Um, and this is where Jörn's curse on all places with bouncers comes into effect.

One of the guys at the door waves me back and says, "You can stay, but your friends aren't coming in."

At first, I thought it was a joke: a little prank played on the giggly birthday girl or some teasing just to explain the hold up. But he's just waiting for me to say something. I finally give it to him.

"Are you serious?"

He is, he gives no explanation and the gang is simply looking in through the door with their own shocked faces. Chime in here guys with what was said to you directly, because I missed whatever was said while I was getting the pat-down from the nicely tattooed babe.

Anyway, of course I don't stay, but go out instead with them to sort out the confusion.

Eventually, the head bouncer starts to talk with us. He is an African-American guy from New York and he's been working with "these guys" for a while. From his comments, I guess the bouncers at the door are gay, he's not, and we (with the exception of Tammi is-my-bi-showing? Coles), they assume, are not friendly enough to that atmosphere. Ramona drops to him that it's my birthday. It turns out that it is his son's too and he laments that he we didn't point that out to the guys at the door.

Because they would have made an exception to our "not friendly" group in that case???

"Oh, my, why didn't you SAY that!" says the pierced vampire bouncer. With maybe a little giggle thrown in for solidarity....

Anyway, our New York dude didn't have time to explain, as he was having to deal with some "Arabians."

Huh?

He said that a couple of times: that some "Arabians" had been causing trouble and he needed to handle the "Arabians."

(If they look gay enough, maybe they will just slip in... Those damn Arabians!!!)

Anyway, he *was* trying to be nice about the bouncers, even as he was saying that, as their boss, he didn't want to overrule them by taking our group back to the door. His final advice:

Get back in line and break up your group.

I later try to convince Jeff and Kris to go back with their hands in each other's back pockets but, alas, the straight boys decline. Ramona and I definitely could have pulled it off.

Definitely.

Happy Birthday to me!

This has been an extraordinary year of change for me, some of it deeply painful (lost love, and yes it still hurts) but much of it richly transformative. Am I really writing from Berlin?

Yesterday, I was cycling from the home of my lover, a wonderful man for whom I am more than grateful. I was on my way to work, admiring the densely tree-lined streets, the bridges over sparkling rivers and the lakes worthy of postcards. I wanted to pinch myself. Ich spreche nur ein bisschen Deutsch, aber I live comfortably (even joyously) here in one of the most vibrantly alive cities on the planet.

Tonight, I will have new friends here to celebrate my 38th birthday with me. No, it will not be the same. I remember last year's party: Maya arguing politics in the front den, Doug and Harsha debating the merits of American football and British cricket in the bedroom, and various folks spread across the living room floor nibbling on yet another fabulous cake creation from Meg. I miss you all more than the physical living of 13 years in D.C.

Still, I have done my best to create happiness here for the day. My mother (Vicki called you Ethel, mom!) sent Duncan Hines cake mix and frosting. My friend Martin will, by popular demand, whip up another fantastic dinner for guests. (It won't be his jambalaya though!) And then, some of the more hearty of us will dance till dawn at the Berghain.

The Berghain deserves a special side note. This is one of Berlin's most famous gay clubs and an industrial dream unlike I have ever experienced before. Otherworldly with its three floors of beautiful people (gay, straight, bi and "what *are* you anyway"), bars that keep the drinks flowing all night and all morning, techno music spun by award-worthy DJs and an atmosphere that any D.C. nightclub owner would kill his mother for.

I went there for the first time last weekend with Caroline, a fellow American that I had met just a week or so before at the bloggers' Stammtisch organized by Mike "not-to-be-confused-with-THAT-Michael" Moore. Caroline and I showed up there at sometime after midnight and danced until 7:30 in the morning. On our way out, we saw people stumbling IN from other clubs. No lie.

We learned later that the Berghain's Saturday night party runs until 8 p.m. the following night. That means we left too early. Won't make that mistake tonight!

In praise of dancing, music and my birthday, I have been trying all day to upload a special folder of 13 of my favorite tracks of this last year. Yes, another Tammi mix tape. :) Half atmospheric electronica, half shake-your-groove-thang tracks. And all of them linked to memories of friends, lovers and family. When I get it finished, this link will only be good until Monday, for those of you reading this blog from your offices. Just a birthday gift teaser, please go out and buy the full albums. (Had to say that, but they *are* worth it.) Artists include Thievery Corporation, Frou Frou, Air, Röyksopp and, lol, Wayne Newton (thanks, Keith!).

Note, both the mp3 and mpeg-4 audio files can be played by popular audio players.

Now please go out and make goofy joy in memory of me on my special day.

Tammi

P.S. Whew!!! Ok, it's been zipped as Tammi's 38th Music Mix. [Too late! Link removed as pledged!] Large file so high-speed connections only. Enjoy!

Addendum: Martin and the cake! :)